Be Specific

But always leave room for more

TL;DR : When you ask for things, be specific. But always leave room for more or better because God is in the business doing exceedingly & abundantly more. And he is never going to stop.

I am a firm believer in SPECIFIC ASKS.

As in, when I come to you with a request, I know exactly what I need you to do for me, for example you could never catch me asking someone for money, and saying something as random as, anything you have. No o, it is usually a specific amount. That way, we are already half way to getting a resolution. I think it is unfair to go with an ask to someone and then when they grant you an audience, you waffle and mumble an uber vague request. Because why are you putting the load of figuring out what you need on the person you are asking for help?

Its giving own goal.

And I do not only apply this to asking people for things, I’m talking prayers, visualizations, vivid imaginations, anything that involves me wanting- I know what it is that I want. What I have learnt over the years is that being specific, really lands you with exactly what you want, even when you have no idea how its going to happen. Its almost as if because you have taken the time to identify exactly what you want, all the forces in heaven and on earth conspire to make sure you get what you want.

When I look through the notes on my phone about all the places I had planned to travel to from 2017 till date, somehow I stay checking all those lists- whether its miraculously via a glitch ticket fare, or a work conference, but some how some how, these trips always materialized. And I know it was miraculous because now I look back at how much I earned then and I’m like- you delusional girl. LOL

But lately especially regarding this move, I’m learning to add a new layer to my very specific requests. I have started asking for exact things or better, because If there is anything I’ve learnt its that what you think you want and know about it, is very limited in the scope of what God wants to give to you. What I have learnt and can testify to is that God always wants to give me MORE & BETTER of the specific thing I have asked for .

When I moved here, with all the preparation and research I did, lets just say the job market terrain was still a mystery. I mean I got a job, relatively quickly and for that I will forever be grateful because the lessons I learnt working there set me up for greater success- but it was not the job I wanted. For one I am a student so I wanted to work only 20 hours, I wanted to work remotely and I wanted to earn as much as full time staff in the IT industry in a company that had operations in both Canada & the US.

And when I tell you every time I spoke to my class mates about the type of job I was looking for- they always thought I was insane. And maybe I was, but I really knew and believed that there had to be an IT company that would hire me for 20 hours a week, won’t deduct taxes, and check all the boxes of what I really wanted. I remember asking someone I went to Uni who now lived in Canada with about the possibility of finding that kind of job- maybe I was looking for a Nigerian to support my delusion- and she was like sis wake up o, businesses here don’t really recruit part time staff here. LOL

But I continued to dream about this ideal work situation and after my valentines day dinner, I randomly came across this company that seemed to CHECK EVERY SINGLE BOX, including the one I didn’t even know I was secretly harboring (to not be the only black person working there)- More about this soon but not today.

God has the wildest sense of humor. Anyway I sent in my application and when I woke up the next day to show my husband the job application, it had been taken down. So I was like, okay okay okay how will I do this now? Long story short, I went on LinkedIn, looked up ALL the staff, found a Nigerian, looked through our mutual connections, we had none. BUT her husband is friends with someone I grew up with in Lagos- who now lives in London. So I messaged him ASAP, time difference be damned. I was like- ABEG come and ask this your guy’s wife to come and refer me. And I knew it was a big ask, because where does she know me from? But omo, I sent her my CV, Cover letter and the most succinct elevator pitch I had ever written, basically she was like okayyyy oooooo, and did the referral.

Three interviews later- lets not get into the fact that I had to do 3 interviews for a part-time role, infact they wanted me to have a coffee chat with the owner of the business, but for some reason, they changed their minds- and I get an offer same day.

I can believe it, but somehow it still feels surreal. When I sent my mum the offer, the first thing she said was -who is Didi, and the second thing she said was ah God really loves you o.

Funny story, during the interview, the MD half way through was like sorry I just have to ask you, where is the name Didi from? I kuku told him its the short form of my middle name. You people that live in countries that you have not had to change your names from Tomiwa to Tom, don’t know what God continues to do for you.

If you can not tell, I am more fascinated about the fact that a job actually existed and checked everything on my criteria list even more than the fact that I got the job. Like what are the odds?

All of this is to say, when you move, and not just countries, when you move cities, when you move friendship circles, when you move from one relationship to the other, I want you to be specific in what you want, but always leave room for more.

Whatever you want on your journey, it exists.

Allow God surprise you.

Some house keeping

I’m a bit conflicted about these letters because I want to keep them in the style of my tiny letters but lets just say substack doesn’t give that energy, but I miss writing in that style so that is what you people are going to get, lots of my personal experiences here, and every letter will have me sharing something that makes me deliriously happy about the new city I now call home.

To celebrate our 6 month anniversary in Canada and my husbands birthday we threw a party Naija style. Half way through the party we were so sure the neighbor was going to call the cops because we were so loud, so you can imagine my relief when I bumped into my neighbor on Monday and was apologizing about the noise over the weekend, and he was like oh we were away for the weekend. And I know that I had previously said I knew all of 7 people but I must have forgotten how to count because I had to not invite some people sef due to the size of our flat. The party was a roaring success it started at 6pm, ended at 2am and everyone packed jollof rice home.

All of this to say I am definitely throwing a big Sallah party in June. It is fortuitous that the date coincides with my mothers birthday and my husband’s family is Muslim. I think I underestimated how much I missed hosting people.

And now thing that makes me deliriously happy, is when I’m on the train and someone gets in just as the door closes. I live in a city that is predominantly Asian and when I tell you that they’d rather pluck out their eyes than catch your eye? But anytime that happens, Its almost like they want to share the exhilaration of getting on the train with someone, in a - did you see that- manner, and I am always soooo excited, that I forget myself and sometimes I give a thumbs up with the widest smile. The moment lasts like all of 2 seconds before we revert to strangers on the train and look away. But when I tell you that the excitement I feel for the person who manages to catch the train always makes me so deliriously happy, that sometimes I even bring it up to my husband when we are casually gisting.

Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think.

Eph 3:20